Ok. I just realized. I’m a sexual person. Might be a strange discovery for someone hitting 30 but these last 6 months have been an eye-opener for me. Like I confessed in an earlier post…
I just started having sex again after breaking up with my ex! It started with that ONS a few months ago and that really boosted my confidence. I needed that. I overcame my fear. And I’m proud of myself.
I never really enjoyed sex with my ex. He would call me fat. Tell me I wouldn’t get anyone better than him. He would call me names. He would joke and tell me he wanted a cook in the kitchen and a whore in bed. He was very selfish in bed. Always expecting me to satisfy his needs but never cared about what I would like or want. I could never fully relax and let go. So I still don’t know what I like.
Last night I went on that second date. It was a nice evening. We were talking about politics, movies we liked and everything in between. We had dinner and wine. He was very polite and caring. After dinner I became a bit shy, I guess it’s because I kind of liked him. He asked me if I wanted to go home, I didn’t, it was still early and I wanted to spend more time with him. So when he asked me if I wanted to go to his place for some tea I said yes!
Let me just tell you that we never drank that tea. I had a great night. I was nervous, but it was a good nervous! I enjoyed myself. I never once felt like it wasn’t my choice. He was so sweet and made sure we were on the same page. He wouldn’t have done anything if I’d said no. Wow! So guys like that really exist! Maybe I can get confident enough to really let go and discover what I want and like and enjoy myself completely one day! =)