Sometimes I just wish my heart would tell my brain to shut the f*** up!

But the last time I let my heart decide for me I ended up in an abusive relationship. Love really is the biggest mindfuck ever!

Ok, there is this guy. A good friend. A person who hangs out in the same group as me. He’s kind, smart, funny, really cares about others – he’s the kind of person who wouldn’t hurt anyone. I’m happy everytime I see him and I feel a bit sad when he leaves. I feel safe and it’s really nice when he hugs me. But he is a hugger, he hugs everyone. I don’t really think about him all the time, he just pops up in my head from time to time.

We’ve never really hung out together alone. We’re always in a group of friends. So…

So what is this?

Do I like him?

Could it be love?

Do I like him as a friend or could it be more?

What does that gaze mean?! Is he flirting with me or did he just happen to look at me while thinking about football?

Should I say something to him? To let him know that I might like him, but don’t know yet?

What if I say something and he rejects me! Could we be friends like before then? Or would I be to embarrassed?

What if I don’t say anything and I miss out on the love of my life?

Is it possible love for him I’m feeling or is it the thought of love itself that I yearn and love?

Oh please…….

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